Did you know that according to The Internet®, all you need to cure your depression is a good walk and some fresh air/company/to man up/to consume copious amounts of narcotics (delete as appropriate)? Wow! I sure love easy answers, and since the internet is populated exclusively by well-meaning experts, I shall immediately burn all my medication and defer to their expertise. Truth be told, as with most conditions what works for one person may not work for another (as I'm sure you all know already): but something more often overlooked is that certain things that can help depression/anxiety one day might be the catalyst for a spontaneous descent into misery the next. So here, in no order at all, is my list of five things that might be good things but might be bad things for those with broken brain chemistry. Enjoy... OR DON'T... 1. FoodI think everyone's pretty happy that an ice cream or a herb crusted rack of lamb can give the most dismal character a momentary boost in mood (unless you're a vegetarian, in which case I guess read herb crusted......... leek). But broadening this slightly from the fleeting benefits of a tasty morsel, I always find cooking therapeutic and I've heard the same can be true of baking. It's probably something to do with having control over a process which takes all your attention: you don't really have time to contemplate existential misery while you're trying to get the consistency of your roasted red pepper sauce juuuuust right. Except.... Unfortunately, as I'm sure those with eating disorders will attest, food can cause a whole punnet of problems spanning the gamut from severe addictions and obsessive behaviour to unreasonable unhappiness when you ruin your seafood risotto and feel like torching your entire house. It's like any creative enterprise in that if it goes wrong, it can really ruin your day as well as your steak. 2. SleepSLEEP! The finest cure for insomnia! The best form of meditation! Rejuvenator of body, mind, and clichés. In a lot of way it's like pushing a big pulsating "RESET" button after a garbage day has forced you into hiding in your room, avoiding everything with any consciousness and trying to become one with the mattress. It's not always easy to get there (deep introspections on how everybody might hate you don't exactly help you nod off), but once achieved you can look forward to popping up in the morning like a happy little radish with a fresh day ahead and the potential for some properly balanced emotions. Except.... Except when it just doesn't. Sometimes the first sign you have that you're in for a rough day is that you wake up feeling like your sense of self worth has been hit by a vindictive bus. Things like that weird phenomenon of awakening more tired than before you slept just make things worse, and oftentimes having a comfortable bed just makes having to face a day of your own thoughts that extra bit unbearable. By actually getting up you're admitting that you might be about to face the same feelings of despondency that made the day before so bad. It's like being afraid of being awake. Which I reckon might be something like xypniophobia. 3. HumansAs in human company, not cadavers or something weird. There have been a few notable occasions where I remember being forced out of the house after a terrible day and being eternally grateful that I was strongarmed into socialising instead of wallowing in self pity alone. If you can surround yourself with people who understand what you're going through, so much the better, but sometimes just any amount of company can distract you from unhelpful or unpleasant thoughts. Except.... You really can't know if this is going to help until you're committed. For every night I've been glad of company, there's been another where I've sat morosely in the pub trying to play on my phone and disappear into the floor. I guess on balance it can be better to allow yourself to be dragged out since you can always bail early, provided you dodge the probing questions about why 7pm is too late for you, you miserable old person. 4. Any kind of relaxing activityHow about a book then? A relaxing bath? A gentle stroll in the woods? Or even a few hours slouched in front of a videogame with a pack of M&Ms and a podcast? If you don't fancy socialising there's few things better than some brainless alone-time to simultaneously entertain and distract you. Except... I won't labour this one because I've definitely referred to it before: doing relaxing things makes me feel really really guilty. I don't know if this is common, although my counsellor was quick enough to pick up on it; either she'd seen it before or she's good at pretending my own stupid foibles are commonplace in an attempt to make me feel less unusual. It's also very hard to find that sweet spot between activities so boring your intrusive harmful thoughts come creeping back, and so wildly mentally taxing you need a bottle of Bacardi and a holiday to calm down afterwards. Some days you find it, most days you can't. 5. The InternetHoo boy... Let's not get bogged down with structure (or indeed consistency with the other items on this list) with this "Except" crap: the internet is the epitome of good-bad things. If you're depressed, it just amplifies that potential for negativity, but if you're savvy enough to read this website you must have experienced the vast gulf in experience between the elation of finding a perfectly framed video of a drunk cat falling over and the savage black despair of stumbling on a comments section.
Instagram deserves particular mention here since it was recently found to be the worst website for mental health for being the perfect storm of narcissism and self-aggrandisment carefully calibrated to make your own life feel worthless. That said the dystopic tit-for-tat compliments designed to draw you to people's accounts make for some amusing reading sometimes.......
2 Comments
Haze
21/9/2017 12:03:30 pm
Number 1 is #SoRelatable for me for reasons you can guess at just by looking at me.
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M
21/9/2017 07:44:36 pm
Ohhh, man. I can so relate - especially the people one!
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Author28 year old computer scientist/physicist with major depressive disorder, a need to write, and a deep-rooted mistrust of beetroot. Categories
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February 2018
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