Vietnam is a magical country. A country of contrasts. A country of mountains and rivers and other country-like things, including some people and at least one dog. Having spent five days in their big city that they've tried to make look all modern, I feel I'm uniquely experienced enough to share with you these top secret must-know travel tips before you venture into this mysterious land. Consider the following, to help prepare you. 1. They Use Dongs Instead of MoneyOne of the first things you need to know before you travel to Vietnam is that they are not as good at money as you or I. As such, real currencies like dollars and pounds aren't as much use to the locals (or "Vietnamese" as they are sometimes called) and although some will accept a dollar as a special gift, they mostly use this sort of toy-like facsimile of real money that they call "Dongs". Dongs work quite similarly to real money but they have more zeroes on the end and have a picture of this Hokey-Min guy on them, who's like the grandad of the country. To give you some idea how seriously they take this, I couldn't even convince the man at the bank that they should change the name because "Dong" sounds silly in a real language. I don't think he understood because he kept politely but firmly asking me to leave and stop yelling. Speaking of which... 2. They Are Too Backwards To Speak EnglishInstead of English, Vietnamese people speak "Vietnamese". This is different to English, and doesn't use many real words. However, unlike in many nice countries a lot of the locals don't speak real English at all, choosing to render all their conversations in Vietnamese; which is a bit presumptuous. Vietnamese uses lots of tones, which I learned when I asked the people on the next table from us in a restaurant to stop sounding so whiney when they spoke. In addition, those that can speak English only got taught by someone with a strong Vietnamese accent so they have them too. Even so, the cultured traveller can make themselves understood by speaking slowly and as loudly as possible: with increasing volume if the local in question is still unable to comprehend your simple request of "eggs benedict on granary". 3. Look After Your Belongings, and Pack SmartEven though Vietnam is advanced enough to have some TV, some of the natives still haven't been taught that stealing isn't good. Furthermore, as a (presumably white) Westerner you'll be regarded as superior to many of the locals. As such, it's important to think carefully about what you take with you when you venture from the safety of your hotel into the wild jungle of the city. Here's my quick-fire list of advice on how to pack smart, from a real expert:
4. Know Your HistoryThose of you "in the know" might think of Vietnam as a war; but in fact the war finished quite some years ago, and ever since then the country that it took place in has been known as Vietnam in commemoration. It's important to be respectful of Vietnam's history, especially since it's also America's history, and America is the most important country in the world. You'll find that the locals are very respectful of Americans and American culture, but they're strangely reluctant to acknowledge that the Vietnamese were the bad guys and this may be because the government can suppress a lot of Hollywood documentaries of the war's history. Some people I met never even realised Mel Gibson fought during the conflict. In any case reading about the myriad events surrounding the war (on your favourite blog) can give you a real insight into why Vietnam just isn't quite as good as the USA. 5. Go Off the Beaten TrackFinally, if you're feeling really brave, it can be great fun (and a really personally enriching experience) to leave your home comforts behind and explore the local culture on an intimate level. So many people I've spoken to were disappointed that they didn't step outside their comfort zone and immerse themselves more in native life. Thankfully I read literally three blogs about Saigon before I went and I was more than happy to really get stuck in. The first thing is that it can be so rewarding to go for walks instead of hiring taxis everywhere. You might need to wear protective clothing, but as the saying on Instagram goes, "Sometimes you have to get lost to find yourself". Local cuisine works too: it's really eye opening to see how different a Starbucks latte can be in another culture. There are so many little differences you notice in appearance as well: several locals shunned traditional clothing like jeans in favour of exotic loose trousers, markets rarely (if ever) sell marmalade, and we even spotted some Vietnamese with old iPhone 4s. It was like stepping back in time! Overall these little glimpses into another world made me such an interesting person, and if it ever got too much we were only ever a short wait from our driver and bodyguard to whisk us back to air conditioning and Cognac. Bliss!
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Author28 year old computer scientist/physicist with major depressive disorder, a need to write, and a deep-rooted mistrust of beetroot. Categories
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February 2018
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